Growing up, you’re taught to have good manners, be polite, and talk well of people. It’s actually common sense to be civil with each other. But we all know that most of the time, what we say doesn’t agree with what we’re thinking.
We’re a little more transparent when it comes to body language. It’s harder to keep your true feelings from expressing themselves through your body. Think of your smile for instance. If you’re sad, you don’t smile. But you could. Just as you can lie with your words, you can lie with your body. You can make yourself smile. I don’t mean someone else forcing you to smile. I mean, you deciding to smile. If you do that often, you will become happier. You’ll feel better just by deciding to smile. Have you ever tried it?
This also works with what you say and what you think. You can decide what you will say, whether it’s truthful or false, whether it’s mean or helpful. You can also decide what you think and believe.
Should it really matter what you’re thinking?
You can start by thinking positive thoughts about others. That sounds silly though, doesn’t it? Well, it is Christmas time.
What happens when you say something nice about someone and your thoughts agree with what you say? They’ll feel your sincerity, smile, stand a little taller, and feel good about themselves. Knowing that you helped them feel good about themselves makes you feel better too.
If you say something like “That’s a great idea,” but inside you’re thinking, “What a jerk.” Do you think they’ll feel the insincerity or possibly see your true thoughts coming through your body language?
It can be tough to change your true thoughts to nice thoughts. You might feel like you’re lying to them or being hypocritical because it’s not what you truly believe. You tell yourself that you’re saying those white lies about the person to be nice. You think you’re being a nice person and showing good manners, but it doesn’t help anyone.
Are your beliefs irreversible facts?
Where do your beliefs come from? Are they things that are given to you, or are they something you decided? Are they etched in stone, or can you change them?
Someone might tell you what to believe, like a parent, but ultimately, you decide whether to believe it or not. You decide based on the information you take in and information you get from others.
For example, you think Annie is a selfish woman who doesn’t help out at the office. That’s your belief. Later, you find out that she regularly gives to charity, feeds the poor, and volunteers at the woman’s shelter. You think, “Wow. I had no idea. I guess she is a great person.” And just like that, you changed your belief about her. Wasn’t that easy?
Your belief was based on whatever information you took in. How do you know that what you take in is correct, or is all of the information available?
You Decide What to Believe
Your belief is your decision. You can decide that your colleague at work is a lovely person, ’cause you know what? Deep down, everyone is basically a nice person. You don’t have to agree with me. That’s just my belief.(See what I did there?)
I’ve been working on changing my beliefs for a little while now. I’ve decided every time I think a bad thought about somebody, I can change it. I decide to think highly of them, and the cool part is, they become nicer.
I thought something magical was going on. Like I was somehow making them become nicer, but I don’t think that’s the case. It might be. Maybe I’m super powerful, but I think I see what I want to see. I only see what I believe. That comes from the desire to be right. If I believe someone is a rotten individual, I’ll only see that part of them. I’ll subconsciously twist everything they do into something a rotten person would do. That way, I make myself right. I make my beliefs correct.
Like when you tell somebody, “I don’t like your attitude.” And they say, “What are you talking about? I just asked for the remote?” Is the problem with the person that’s asking for the remote, or is it because of the one with the “bad attitude” belief?
Your belief is yours to command. You can decide the world is an awesome place (side effects include everyone around you becoming nicer, and you enjoying life more). It might be more difficult than just deciding to smile, but it also yields bigger returns. Now is the right time to try it, just in time to make Christmas even better.
You decide what you believe. You decide whether you believe someone is a jerk or a nice person, just as you decide whether to smile or not. What they say is true. You, all by yourself, can turn the world into a better place.
It’s your decision.
Smile whenever you want.
You’re awesome.
Photo by Naassom Azevedo on Unsplash